Honey and Me by Meira Drazin

Honey and Me explores the fun and challenge of middle-grade friendship in the context of the Orthodox Jewish community.

Honey and Me by Meira Drazin. Scholastic, 2022, 283 pages.

Reading Level: Middle Grades, ages 10-12

Recommended for: ages 10-14

Best Friends . . . Forever?

Honey has been Milla’s best friend for ages, and it would be hard to imagine a better one. They’ve done everything together in their tight-knit Orthodox Jewish community—except school. But this year will be different: Because Honey’s autistic brother Aaron is now eligible to attend the program for disabled kids at Eden Academy, Honey and two younger siblings will be attending also. Finally, the girls will get to see each other every day during the school year. It will be a propitious year in other ways, too, as both girls and all their peers will be studying for bat mitzvah, as well as planning their bat mitzvah parties.

Milla anticipates a smooth transition into their new phase of their lives together, but some jarring notes emerge. Why does Honey take on another name during the first week of school (and just as abruptly drop it)? What new friendships will she form with the other girls in their synagogue, now that she’s seeing them every day? And—this one is getting itchy—how much does Honey influence Milla’s own tastes and preferences? Is Milla a person in her own right, or is she living too much in her best friend’s shadow?

The Balance of Self and Community

These are typical middle-school issues as tweens are suddenly becoming teens and starting to figure out who they are. The girls’ relationship doesn’t change but it develops some sharp edges. They don’t always agree. Honey’s vision for her bat mitzvah is very different from Milla’s, but Honey was always an independent thinker. Is there such a thing as being too independent? As the girls head into adulthood, the demands of the community lean against the emerging demands of their own individuality. “Between being ‘for yourself’ and being ‘for others’ is a delicate balance,” Milla comes to realize—and it’s a balancing act that challenges all of us.

Honey and Me can be a bit preachy as Milla ponders her choices, and her voice at times seems very mature for a 12-going-on-13-year-old. Still, the depiction of middle-grade friendship rings true, and I especially appreciate the importance given to community. Too often, kids are told that it’s up to them to determine who they are, as if they don’t even exist in a larger context. Orthodox Judaism is an ideal background for this theme, as it stands out for its cohesiveness. This is a quality Christian churches don’t often share, unfortunately, but all of us must define our individuality against community, and this story allows room for thinking about what that means. (A long Author Note goes into detail about her own Orthodox involvement and provides a glossary of Hebrew/Yiddish terms.)

NOTE: Honey and Me is a 2023 Sidney Taylor Honor Book for middle graders.

Consideration:

• A couple of misuses of lower-case “god.”

Overall Rating: 4

• Worldview/moral value: 3.75
• Artistic/literary value: 4

Read more about our ratings here.                 

Also at Redeemed Reader:

• Review: Other novels reflecting the Jewish experience, from super-Orthodox to Reform, are Linked, Ceiling Made of Eggshells, The Many Mysteries of the Finkel Family, The Life and Crimes of Hoodie Rosen, and Super Jake and the King of Chaos.
• Review: For some sound advice in making and keeping friends, see our review of Growing Friendships.

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