7 Myths About 50 Shades Among Christians

We’ve already covered a lot of ground on the Fifty Shades trilogy by E. L. James.  We interviewed Tim Challies on the theology of pornography, held a roundtable discussion with Megan Basham, and Janie and I have recommended resources in her review and my post, Sexual Integrity Resources for Teens.  I promised you a review of the book, but on further reflection, the subject matter is so dark and the plot so thin that I find it’s not worth rehearsing.

Instead, I’ve put together a short list of myths I think are common among women, even Christian women, regarding the books, and I’ve tried to shine a little light on them.

1. Fifty Shades is bad, therefore no Christian should ever read it.  This myth doesn’t take into account that a book may be read for numerous reasons, including 1) entertainment and 2) apologetics.  Per the first one, 50 Shades is clearly pornography and as such ought never be read for entertainment.  However, for someone like me hoping to bring gospel light to netherworlds of secular literature and movies, to refuse to read the book could also be sinful, just as a policeman who refuses to do surveillance work in a brothel may be shirking his duty.
2. Sex is natural, therefore reading graphic descriptions of sex is ok, too.  Death is also natural, as is malaria, obesity, and about a thousand mutations of the stomach virus.  Genesis tells us that we live in a good world, a world designed by God, that is fallen.  We are separated from God by our sin, and corruption (from death to sickness to our own deficient moral inclinations) is rampant.  The world as it is today is filled with things that can hurt us, and sex is one of the sharpest blades we’ll ever handle.  Like the common kitchen knife, it can be helpful or–if used unwisely–sex can cut to the bone.  I can’t rehearse here all the reasons pornography hurts us, but one clear reason is that it stirs desires that it cannot satisfy, like offering a starving person only the smell of food.  Another is that it offers that arousal with no cost.  Sex in the real world always involves a giving, not just a getting.  It involves relationship and friendship and intimacy, but pornography separates the reader’s arousal from those noble, sanctifying contexts.  Finally, it goes against the sexual integrity called for in the Bible.  When a reader becomes aroused reading another’s sexual exploits, she experiences lust in her heart and mind, which is itself a pollution and separates her from God.
3. I enjoyed 50 Shades for reasons other than the BDSM and sexual encounters.  Certainly, individual readers will have different reactions to the text.  Those who have read mildly pornographic novels before may have less of a reaction than novices.  However, here’s a quick reality check as to whether the porn played a role in your enjoyment: If all the sex of this book were replaced with long, multiple-page descriptions of a surgeon’s scalpel or the characters’ bathroom habits—say, a character’s experience of recurring diarrhea—would you still find the book as endearing or entertaining?  Would you be willing to wade through that to get to the love story?  If not, then you are reading it for the sex scenes at some level.
4. The story is redemptive, therefore it’s good.  A book like 50 Shades is filled with characters that are made in God’s image, and as such, despite their sin, they will always display some good.  In this case, both characters despise the BDSM (bondage/dominance/sadism/masochism) that Christian Grey is oppressed by, and both of them are introduced sympathetically by the author–we are supposed to root for them to overcome it or find some middle ground.  So, no, this isn’t the worst possible book that could be written about female subjugation.  As one reviewer pointed out, the characters could have relished the total subjugation of women like the Marquis de Sade.  That said, a story may very easily glorify something evil while trying to exalt something noble, and it may spend so much time portraying the problem–in this case the BDSM–that readers find it just as captivating as the characters’ struggle against it.  (And I just read that there will soon be Fifty Shades underwear–how much would you bet it’ll be BDSM-themed?)
5. I used the story to spice up my own marriage.  This one is probably one of the most deceptive.  Certainly, judging by the 50 Shades babies on the way and the underwear line in the works for do-it-yourself-ers, readers tell themselves they aren’t just passively viewing porn.  Christians may argue they are fueling the fire of their God-ordained marriages and being more fruitful, to boot.  I won’t deny that some good comes from romantic stories, perhaps even these.   My husband and I often watch romantic movies like Sleepless in Seattle, and they often remind me of how I ought to treasure our relationship.  However, that kind of romantic empathy is perfectly legitimate; it’s something the Bible itself invites readers to.  See Song of Solomon or Ruth.  But nowhere does God’s Word invite us to empathize in the detailed experience of the sex act itself, something that is clearly destructive.  Aren’t there ways to spice up a marriage that don’t involve such unsavory means?
6. What I read is private and doesn’t hurt anyone else.  First of all, if you warp your own mind, it will affect the people in your life negatively.  Your husband may not appreciate being compared to Christian Grey, for instance.  Beyond that, numerous studies have shown a link between consuming sexually suggestive media and acting out sexually risky behavior, especially for teens, increasing instances of pregnancy and STDs.But even if you avoid these pitfalls, here’s the other catch.   When you purchase these books and loan them from the library, you tell publishers, “This is what we want, please make more!” You tell retailers like Costco (which now carries the book) and Barnes and Noble and city shops that you want to see more BDSM on the shelves.  You tell librarians to stock them, making them available on the public dime to tweens and teens.  And of course, you put money in the pocket of movie-makers. Do you really want your fifteen-year-old daughter or niece reading this?  Or watching the movies? Well, guess what? You can’t lock your kids in the YA section of the library and think they’ll stay there.  They are watching what adults read, and they are reading it too–but they are being shaped by it in ways you’ll never be. If this is their adolescent reading, what will it take to titillate them when they’re all grown up?
7.  Christians who tell others not to read Fifty Shades are being legalistic.  It would be legalistic or judgmental if we said that only people who follow the rules are loved by God.  But it’s not not legalistic to say something is harmful. Or to say that those who revel in pornography grieve the Holy Spirit, hurt themselves and others, and need the Lord’s healing grace.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
   

If you are a Christian who struggles with written pornography, talk to your pastor or a friend who can help you apply the entirety of Biblical truth to this part of life.  Or if you really don’t have a trustworthy Christian friend, you can email me at emily@redeemedreader.com and I’ll do my best to find someone in your area who can help.  You can also check out our sexual integrity resources.

Finally, if you feel the Holy Spirit convicting you in this area, you might read this Bible passage about the Prodigal Son and God’s forgiveness. No matter how far you’ve strayed or how ugly your sexual fantasy life has become, it’s never too late to come home.