Trans Ideology: Resources for Parents

The tide against trans identification among children may be turning, and that’s a welcome development. But any ideology that gets its hooks into the young and vulnerable for so many years–including advocacy from children’s publishing–will be slow to fully dissipate. Pamela Palmer, a friend of and sometime contributor to Redeemed Reader, has assembled a roundup of lesser-known books for adults that could be helpful in confronting thus dangerous obsession.

Desist, Detrans & Detox: Getting Your Child Out of the Gender Cult by Maria Keffler. Sophia Institute press, 2021, 256 pages.

The author makes a compelling case for likening the transgender ideological activists to a religious cult that seeks out and coerces vulnerable converts. She identifies groups specifically targeted by trans activists — those who already have strikes against them, such as autistic children; children who have suffered prior trauma like physical or sexual abuse, rejection, or parental divorce; and children who struggle socially or perceive themselves as
unpopular or awkward. She outlines additional factors that might be contributing to a child’s vulnerability to the message “you must be transgender:” depression, other mental health struggles, social contagion, and pornography. Keffler coaches parents on relational skills that will help them reconnect and rebuild their relationship with their child, while learning to ask the kind of questions that enable the child to see their flawed beliefs. Chapter Headings include “Transgender Ideology Is a Cult of Identity”; “Conversations With Your Transgender-Identified Child”; “Your Relationship With Your Transgender-Identified Child”; “A Plan for Deprogramming Transgender-Identified Children”; “Unfailing Love”; “The Rest of the Family”; “After Desisting”. Glossary as well as other resources at back.

Lost in the Trans Nation: A Child Psychiatrist’s Guide Out of the Madness by Miriam
Grossman, M.D. Skyhorse Publishing, 2023, 360 pages

Grossman, board certified in child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry, speaks out of more than 40 years of practice. In her Introduction, she says, “This book is about the kids whose new identities are the result of a hysteria fueled by the Internet, social media, Hollywood, and the gender medical and government establishment that mushroomed out of the ideology I discovered in sex education fifteen years ago.” Rossman’s heart of compassion is evident, both for those identifying as trans and their parents. Grossman identifies a number of biological and other true male/female differences (pp. 30-32), and observes that activists actually use stereotypes (“Girls like pink, boys like to roughhouse”) which are not truly sex-linked, to convince the vulnerable. The author includes a walk-through for parents (pp. 196-212) of how the conversation could go if your child comes out to you as trans, with suggested parent responses modeling how to listen respectfully, ask questions, avoid enabling, and move in a helpful direction. Appendices follow, with additional practical help: Biology 101; Key Scientific Papers; Dealing with Schools; Dealing with Child Protective Services; Finding a Therapist; Guide to Internet Accountability Tools; and Responses to International Parent Survey.

Parents with Inconvenient Truths About Trans: Tales from the Home Front in the Fight to Save Our Kids edited by Josie A. and Dina S. Pitchstone Publishing, 2023, 392 pages.

This volume consists of chapters written by individual authors, each a parent whose child has (or formerly) embraced a transgender identity. Their well-written stories are grouped in nine sections. Each section’s title begins with” Parents on…,” and they end with these descriptors: “Community Capture”; “Community Influences”: “Peer Groups”, “Teachers, and Schools”; “Online Influences: Porn, Anime, and Social Media”; “Gender Ideology”; “The Betrayal of the Medical System”; “Family, Love, and Loss”; “The Parent Underground”; “Parenting Through Trans”; and “Desistance.” Most parent contributors have fairly liberal leanings; many were accepting of the trans movement politically, but shocked by the reality when it seduced their child. A deep commitment to their child’s welfare is evident in these parents’ stories; they write in the hope that their battles to rescue and restore their children may enlighten and encourage other parents facing this trauma.

Being Jo: A Graphic Novel of Desistance by Jo and Dr. Tal Croitoru. Independently published, 2024, 74 pages.

Written by 23 year-old Jo and her therapist, this short publish-on-demand paperback might
be a useful tool to give pause to a young person committed to a trans identity. Jo’s gender dysphoria started at age 5. She tells us early on that she was later diagnosed as on the Autism Spectrum, but the reader doesn’t learn until near the end that she also had an early life trauma (another vulnerability common to trans identifiers). Jo describes the elation of being considered “cool” when she came out, and wholeheartedly longing for full medical “gender reassignment.” Then, she reports she began to see inconsistencies. Eventually she had to deal with the fact that she’d been lied to by people claiming to help her (to transition to a man); she realized that could never happen. For her there was a lot of pain in letting go of the identity that she embraced for years. Without minimizing the difficulties, Jo ends her story on a hopeful note, looking to her future. No father is mentioned, but Jo’s mother is portrayed as a loving voice of reason throughout. Partial lists of Testosterone Risks for Women and the Risks of Estrogen for Men are included near the back.

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Being Jo, Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans, Lost in the Trans Nation, and Desist, Detrans, and Detox may all be ordered from Amazon.